How to Cope When You Feel Alone in Adulthood

Spring brings longer days and more light. It’s a season of renewal and possibility—and for many people, a quiet pressure to be more social.

This duality can feel overwhelming. While the season invites connection, it can also highlight loneliness.

If you’re in your late 20s or 30s, you might crave deeper relationships but struggle to find ways to create them. Outside of work, it’s tough to discover consistent, meaningful social spaces. Many people search phrases like “how to make friends in your 30s” or “social groups for women in adulthood.” You might wonder if everyone else has figured it out while you feel stuck.

Many of my therapy clients express a similar tension. They want meaningful connection but sometimes feel too tired to chase it. At the end of the day, there’s often a dual longing: to connect, and to rest.

Understanding Loneliness

Loneliness doesn’t always feel obvious right away. It shows up during a solo evening at home, while scrolling through your phone, or even when surrounded by others. It may feel like an ache in the chest or a dull pit in the stomach. You might not always recognize it, but rest assured, it’s more common than you think.

The Many Forms of Loneliness in Adulthood

Loneliness isn’t solely about being physically alone. It can show up in many ways:

• Feeling disconnected even in social situations.

• Wishing for deeper friendships but unsure where to begin.

• Reaching out but not feeling received.

• Feeling unseen, even in relationships.

  
  

As a therapist, I often remind my clients that loneliness is an emotion and not an identity. It's like a wave that rises, breaks, and eventually recedes. Like a wave, it's not a fixed state of being.

BUT acknowledging loneliness can be challenging and uncomfortable, to say the least. Here’s what I’ve found helpful, both personally and professionally, in coping with these feelings.

How to Cope With Loneliness

1. Reframe Your Identity

You are not a lonely person; you're a human being experiencing loneliness. Which by the way is an extremely common thing for a human being to feel. t’s a crucial shift that creates space to remember that this isn't a forever feeling.

2. Normalize It

Even people in committed relationships and those with vibrant social lives feel lonely. Loneliness is part of being human and it walks alongside all of us. It's actually okay to feel lonely.

3. Rename It

Try calling your loneliness longing. Longing for consistency. For belonging. For communities where you can be your authentic self. Longing has purpose. It points toward something significant.

When to Consider Therapy for Loneliness

If you’re feeling isolated, misunderstood, or uncertain about where to turn, therapy can be a valuable space to explore those feelings without shame.

I work with thoughtful adults seeking more depth, clarity, and connection in their lives—but who might not know where to start. In therapy, we name the feeling, we listen for what it's trying to convey, and together, we find a gentler, more authentic path forward.

Building Meaningful Connections

One way to mitigate feelings of loneliness is to actively seek new connections. Start by engaging in activities that interest you. Consider joining a class, attending workshops, or volunteering. These environments often foster a sense of community and remember that it's okay to feel a little lonely even when trying these new things. It's just part of the process.

Exploring Group Activities

Engaging in group activities can provide a comfortable setting to meet others. Whether it's a book club, hiking group, or craft class, learning alongside others can spark conversation and create connections.

Reaching Out to Others

Don’t hesitate to reach out to acquaintances or friends. Sometimes, a simple text inviting someone to coffee can pave the way for deeper connections. People appreciate being included, and you may find common ground. I promise you're not the only one showing up with your tender heart on your sleeve wanting to make new friends.

Embracing Vulnerability

Embrace vulnerability when forming new connections. Sharing your feelings about loneliness can open the door to meaningful discussions. You might find that others share similar experiences, creating a bond built on shared understanding.

Facing the Loneliness Together

And if today is particularly lonely, try saying this to yourself: “I’m not a lonely person. I’m just a person in this moment, feeling lonely. There will be other moments. There will be time.” One step at a time dear friend.

Remember, you are not alone in your feelings. Many are navigating similar experiences, and together, we can face loneliness with courage and compassion.

~ Rebecca